The miracle of flight

Switching planes is overrated. This MD-88 is noisy, smelly, and shakey. I guess it's mostly because im sitting near the engines (and therefore the lavatories), but it seems like the plane itself just isnt as nice as the last one. For example, there's no entertainment, and there's a bit less legroom. Also, the windows have some condensation on them, which (for a nervous passenger like myself) doesn't inspire confidence. Finally, and perhaps most shockingly, the wings are being held on by scotch tape and a bit of wood glue. Instead of engines, there are a series of helium balloons tied to the fuselage. The craft is drifting aimlessly along the prevailing wind currents into the middle of the Atlantic ocean.

One thing I like about it though is that its not full-- I have two seats to myself.